Forgiving

I covered “forgiving” as one of the traits in my character education picture book for children, “Building Character with Sam, Izzy, and Many Other Dogs.
I’ve been ill and in bed for the last few days. Today, I had the energy to get up. I decided to clean out closet so I don’t end up on horders. I now have 4 empty shelves! Who-hoo.
I found some notes that I had taken on a session on forgiveness during the last part of the 2000-2009 decade. The date was torn off.
Here is a brief review on the book so I can throw these notes away.
Book: The Art of Forgiving
Author: Lewis Smeds
Date of Publication: 1997

Here are some random thoughts from this book:
• Forgive the person not their character traits.
• Forgive for what they do (or did) and not for what they are.
• Forgiving is part of healing
• Forgive means to give up fantasy of revenge
• Forgiving does not mean you must have a reunion with the person. This reminds me of the movie Antwone Fisher. In the end, Antwone doesn’t reunite with those who had abused him.



• Forgiving is an individual act (inside oneself)
• Reuniting is a two person act (two people required)
A person who has experienced the pain is able to forgive the person who inflicted or caused it.
A person must know they’ve been wronged, offended, or suffered unfairly in order to forgive
A person must have the desire to forgive.

Forgiving Does NOT Mean:
Tolerating, forgetting, surrendering justice, or that we’re open to being hurt again.
Vengeance stage is where a person who has been victimized continues to feel like a victim my re-living the memory over and over.
Here is an honest approach:
Admit what was done was wrong. Don’t deny, disguise, or ignore it.

Overall – forgiving is to give up the right to enjoy sweet revenge.
You can get the book on amazon at this link: